Worse and Worse

Still can figure out why it just kept getting worse and worse.

Naomi sama Momon besok sidang, and i dont know what to feel
I guess I think karma does exist. Gw kira tanggal 5 udah bisa seminar, gw kira akhirnya satu tugas kelar juga. But no, revision revision terus dan terus datang, dan banyak banget. gatau lah perasaan gw campur aduk bangt. Kenapa gw harus milih TA ini, kenapa gw harus ninggalin kelompok gw? Kenapa gw harus TA sama BioFarma?


Bayangin ya, kalo gw gak TA sama BioFarma, gw ga bakal sering di Bandung, gw gabakal gabung sama geng mabuy, gw bakal tetep di Nangor, sama tmn-tmn gw yang baik itu, dan gw bisa wisuda Juli. Gila, ga ngerti banget gw.. Tarikannya sejauh ini dari karma gw ninggalin temen. Sumpah, disitu awal semua hal jadi tai kaya gini.

It ruined my life big time. Gw harusnya ttp sahabatan sama said, gw harusnya bisa lulus Juli, gw harusnya harusnya harusnya. Gw mencoba percaya it'll all get better dan satu2nya harapan gw cuman dengan magang ini. Gw pikir ini ray of light yang akan membuat gw lebih semangat hidup/ But maybe no, i don't feel like I belong here. Or maybe its all just mixed up emotions yang membuat gw jadi ga bersyukur sama apapun yang gw rasain sekarang. I dont know

I just hope it'll get better

Destrin ngeboongin gw, ok that hits me kind of hard. I dont get why people lies and they're especially my best friend, once again this universe is trying to tell me that there is no real people in this world. That it's just me and myself that can be loyal..

I just found out that the guy is not christian and also have a girlfriend. I dont know why I even put that story here. but i goes it just really hurt me in a hopeless romantic field. I mean I think i really need a man right now, I guess gw emang ngga independent sama sekali dalam hidup. I need to have someone who want to listen to me everyday. I guess It's just nice. And knowing this new life would maybe give me that opportunity and malah it turn the other way around kind of sucks so hard.

SELANJUTNYA, semalem klh nelfon gw untuk nanya gw kenapa setelah gw ngepost IG story. Gw seneng banget parah, i think i get my hero back, but no...setelah gw cerita semua masalah gw dan tenang, DIA MALAH CERITA DIA ABIS JADIAN. yaaaaah elah, kayak. idup bisa lebih tai dari ini apa engga sih???/? sumpah gw ga ngerti banget sama yang namanya jalan hidup. Kayak gooood please give one thing that is good about this life. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I DONT KNOW blog. Im not feeling like im in the mood of people. I hate my life. I really hate it.

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